“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” Nicholas Sparks
Life happened to me in 2017 when I decided to file for divorce after 15 years of marriage. All relationships have problems, but if the same issues of insecurity, infidelity and other factors get under your skin then it is time to evaluate why you are still there. I did my own self-evaluation to understand why I was still there. I wanted more for me, which included a healthy relationship. I was mentally drained from stress within the marriage, not to include being a parent, working a demanding job and accomplishing personal and professional goals.
Hell yeah, this decision was difficult, but “Life Happens.” My thoughts were everywhere, what about the kids reaction? Where is he going to live? What about medical etc.? Yes, I was worried about his needs, even though his actions led to my life changing decision. How many of you have done the same?
I thought it would be easier living on two separate continents, but it was tough for me to say, “I want a divorce,” but I did. It was emotional and challenging for both of us; one wanted to leave while the other wanted to stay. It was too late; I refused to look back and I am only forward now.
If you are at this crossroad in your life, ask yourself, what emotion does your partner brings out of you? Is it motivation, drive, happiness, anger, sadness or frustration?
Here are my four reasons why I made my decision:
I wanted it for me– I had to put aside every other person’s emotions including my kids. I knew if I focused on them, I would have stayed and I couldn’t do that to myself.
I wanted a Healthy Relationship– No relationship is perfect, but I was done feeling drained and stressed for minute things.
I Wanted No Stress- I don’t mind a little stress from living, but continuous stress in any relationship is not worth it. Relationship is a team effort, where you and your partner inspire each other and not tear each other down.
I Wanted Clarity- I needed clarity on things that I accepted in my marriage. I wanted clarity on how I contributed to the breakdown of my marriage and speaking with counselor helped put things into perspective. The conversations opened my eyes, which led to my decision.
I had some wonderful experiences and learned some great life lessons along the way. As in all relationships, there are prodigious times and unscrupulous time, but if the amazing times outweigh the bad times then continue to build on your relationship and make it stronger. If it is the opposite, then ask yourself why you are still there.
I loved, I forgave, I inspired and it was not enough. Therefore, I chose ME.
What are you struggling with in your relationship?
What is stopping you from making the transition?
follow the link for read what “I Let Go” in 2017, http://shevvymac.com/2018-is-here-i-am-letting-go/
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“Motivation Accountability Change”