4 Comments

  1. AnnMarie John
    February 12, 2018 @ 12:31 am

    This is a great topic. I’ve known a few people who’ve dated while divorcing, but like you, I would wait. Not only wait for me, but for my kids as well. It’s a time for adjustment for them, it’s also a time for you to get to know yourself, to learn what it’s like to be all alone once again, to “find yourself”. Sometimes you need to learn love yourself, learn how to depend on ones’ self without having someone in the mix, otherwise it can all lead down to divorce once again. All in all, I think it’s best to wait.

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    • Shevvymac
      February 12, 2018 @ 11:27 am

      Annmariejohn thank you for the comment and you are so right when it comes to us learning about ourselves after a divore. It takes time for healing so dating while going throughg the process is not the way to go. And how committed can the person be to the new partner?

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  2. Shae
    February 11, 2018 @ 6:29 pm

    Shev, this is so true. I have many friends who have jumped straight into something else for fear of being alone, or simply because they needed validation that they were and are still worthy of someone. I waited 2 yrs before going on a date and i still was not mentally ready for it, not because i wasn’t over my ex husband, because that wasn’t the case. But because I just wasn’t in the mood to entertain someone else’s bull and feel like this is something I had to do based on ‘social norms’. The main reason for me is if you have kids with your ex and start dating during the separation/divorce process, you’re sending mixed signals to your children (especially if you bring that new person around them – not me), and not really helping your children cope with what’s really going on between mum & dad, and giving them time to process what can be a traumatizing event in their lives – in a sense, you’re being selfish, only taking care of your physical and emotional needs.

    Great post/Topic!

    Shae

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    • Shevvymac
      February 12, 2018 @ 11:34 am

      Shae, I agree with you and some partners cannot wait because they are afraid of being alone. And yes, it’s a scary felling because your norm is no longer your norm. Waiting is great for couples with kids and like you stated we don’t want to send mis signals which I believe will affect how your kids perceive you. It’s up to the person on how long he/she should wait after the divorce to date. For some it’s 6 months and while others wait years.

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