Dating before or after a divorce can be an easy transition for some, but difficult for others. I believe it all comes down to the person and if he or she is ready emotionally, mentally and physically. From personal experience, I have been around others who started dating during their divorce or separation process and others who waited after the divorce to allow someone in. As a newly divorcee, I preferred to entertain someone after my divorce.
Is it men or women who jump into a relationship first during their divorce transition? This can go both ways. From experience, men are the first to hook up or become serious with another woman during their transition process.
Why is that? There can be numerous reasons why both men and women leap into a new relationship without the current one ending. Here are a few:
- They are afraid to be alone
- They want to fill a void
- It’s something new
- Physical connection
- Emotional connection
Who waits after the divorce is final to date? Me, why date someone who is separated, but legally married. It does not make sense, if you want to be in a committed relationship then that person needs to be disconnected from their exes is all ways. Why not legal divorce before entertaining someone new.
It’s important to wait; waiting helped me to take time for myself and really focus on my transition without additional distractions. Adding another person in the mix is just a temporary solution so why not face the situation at hand and then venture out and date. Another factor why I did not date during my divorce is because I was not ready for a new relationship. I wanted my new relation to be built on trust with no additional baggage from my past relationship.
The benefit of waiting to date after a divorce:
- Knowing what I wanted. By waiting I was able to truly define what I expected out of my next relationship.
- Defining what I will not accept and what my deal breakers were.
- Time aided me to enjoy being and living alone so that I can accept the next person who enters my life organically.
- Being ready, I am ready to enter a new relationship with nothing else but myself, I’m ready to enter with no fear or insecurity. I’m entering it with an open heart.
In conclusion, it is up to the person to determine if he or she is emotionally, mentally and physically ready to date during their divorce or wait until it is finalized. I am happy I waited because I know when I enter my next relationship I’m going in with clarity.
Questions: Would you date during the divorce process or wait?
“Motivation Accountability Change”